"...In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe..."

- "In Christ Alone" Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

The baby shampoo company, Johnson & Johnson, is right--having a baby changes everything. Your whole life is turned upside down the minute your bundle of joy is placed in your arms, never to return to the way it used to be. I can (and will in the near future) ramble on and on about the things that are new and challenging daily, but for now I'd rather share with you some of the beautiful things God is revealing to me through my son.

1) We are good and perfect gifts...because God created us. Life is sacred, and James has made me appreciate that so much.

2) Jesus became flesh. Wow. I can't comprehend the fullness of God, but now I've seen and know the helplessness of a babe. It brings me to tears every time we sing "In Christ Alone."

3) God gave us His only Son. This truth has hit closer to home than ever before. What an incredible, beautiful sacrifice.

Happy Earth Day! To celebrate the day, James and I attended a Babies Go Green Party today. Yes, I did take him in his cloth diapers. No, we did not hug trees...but we did water them. (Babies love water, trees love water. It's all good.)

We are also celebrating National TV Turnoff Week -- that's right, no television in this household this week. I do admit to some cheating, because I have still spent some time at my laptop this week (like right now!) so I am getting screen time and entertainment in a slightly different form. And I do plan on watching American Idol highlights, an episode of The Office and the new episode of Lost after they are all posted online. Which is STILL LIKE TV, I KNOW...but my TV set will not be turned on this week. Period. Why? There are several reasons:

1) Now that I'm a SAHM I have tried to replace human interaction with TV. Not good!
2) The commercialism that TV promotes has begun to affect me.
3) My (almost) 2 month old son doesn't need TV time. He's already absorbing things and learning from my habits.
4) TV takes up too much time that could be used for other things.

My mom did it. My sister did it. My sister-in-law did it too. Why couldn't I? I knew it might not be easy...but who knew that it would require (literal) blood, sweat and tears?

On a chilly February morning I gave birth to a biter. And not just any biter--a narrow latching, disorganized sucking, give-me-a-bottle-or-I'll-make-your-nipples-angry biter. We tried every thing possible, nipple shields, breast shells, cup feeding, different holds. I nursed standing up, sitting down, laying down, in the dark, in the bathtub, upside down in a Barca lounger...ok maybe I'm exaggerating on the last one. After lots of trial and error my nipples were cracked and bleeding, but I just couldn't give up. I wanted so desperately to breastfeed my baby. My guardian angel (aka my lactation consultant) was magnificent, but for some reason she wouldn't move into my house with me and my husband and Old Iron Jaws, er, my baby. So I began to scour the web for anything to keep me going.

I found websites that told me the 4 ounces of formula I was supplementing with each day were going to make him mentally retarded or, at the very least, ill. To the other extreme, some made it seem as if there was no reason to keep pumping 24/7 and offering my breast to my child when formula and bottles are so readily available. But then I came across kellymom -- ah, be still my bleeding nipples! When my son screamed and refused his mommy, I read Help! My Baby Won't Nurse through tears streaming down my face. Then I found even more great online resources. While baby boy insisted on drinking from a bottle only, I turned to Dr. Sears for advice. He encouraged me to practice babywearing to bond with my little piranha. And through all of the trials and tribulations, I had to keep on pumping, sometimes exclusively.

Perhaps the online source that made the biggest impact on me and kept me going is My Baby Just Doesn't Get It by an IBCLC named Diane Wiessinger. It is a page that tells of many women and babies who had trouble nursing but succeeded in the end. These stories gave me hope that successful breastfeeding would happen, even if it took more time and determination than I had ever realized. I read these stories over and over, especially during the moments when I wanted to give up. The webpage says this:

It has taken us 6 weeks and breastfeeding still isn't perfect. Sometimes my child still struggles to latch on, but those times are becoming fewer and farther between. Sometimes I still pull out the old lanolin cream and ibuprofen, and begin to think about everything that baby and I have gone through over the past month and a half. I must say that the mothers are right--it was worth the wait.