Ramblings of a Young Mom

Planting New Roots

2010-01-18T15:00:00.002-06:00

We had certain expectations for what our lives would look like right now. And a month from now. And six months. Even 5 years from now. But our lives have changed in an unexpectedly beautiful way. God has called our family to leave our home here in Central Illinois for a new adventure in Southern Illinois. Toby has accepted a position at Southern Illinois Healthcare in Carbondale and we have found a place to live in Carterville, just a 10 minute drive from his (soon-to-be) office.

One huge blessing is that this is much closer to our families. We look forward to reuniting with old friends and meeting new ones. At the same time, we are sad to say goodbye to our church family and dear friends in the Chambana area. Toby has 2 weeks of work left here in Central Illinois, then we have a week to pack everything and move to our duplex in Carterville. That's not much time for closure, but it is what we have.

Please pray with us and for us as we make this transition. We love you all so much and cherish your support.

Fires and Shopping

2009-11-27T08:20:00.002-06:00

Last night was simply insane. It started with my sister, mom, friend and I all piling into a minivan to head to the Midnight Madness Sale. We were almost out of C-U when my sis smelled smoke and spotted a fire. We had a bit of trouble finding it at first, but finally we found a road off of the main road that led us to the house where the corner of the roof (where the chimney was) had caught fire.

Imagine the panic and chaos as we four women get out of the van, knock on the door only to have the owners of the house tell us "No, our house isn't on fire, we just have a fire going in the fireplace" and then shut the door. I realize it would be weird to have slightly insane, strange women at your door at 11pm on Thanksgiving evening, but we are still shaking our heads at the fact that they didn't believe us. So my sister knocked again and insisted this time that they come out. Once they saw how the fire was blazing and the smoke was rolling, they started evacuating, along with a large group of children.

It was also quite stressful as my friend, who was on the phone with a 911 emergency dispatcher, kept BEGGING the occupants of the house to give us their address so that the fire department could come. In the chaos of it all, NONE of the adults would cooperate. Finally, we cornered a 10 year old girl and made her give us the house number and street name. After all the people were evacuated and the fire department arrived, we headed on to the Midnight Madness Sale.

Now that I've had a good 3 hours of sleep, reflecting on my night is making my head spin. I'm thankful for many things this holiday season. A nice house and the safety of my family is near the top of the list.

What Sparked the Last Post

2009-11-03T14:29:00.003-06:00

Ok friends, I promised I would share why the last post contained such a long rant. For over a year I have subscribed to a political activism newsletter called "Care2 Action" which sends me frequent newsletters about situations I should be aware of and do something about. Specifically they are grassroots efforts that involve signing petitions or donating financially to healthy & green living causes, saving the environment, keeping animals from being abused, etc.

**If you are reading this and are shocked that a gal with conservative politics actually cares about these issues, well don't be. We conservatives do care about our world and resources.**

Anyway, I've enjoyed the newsletters thus far, even if I don't agree with all that they say, until I received this email yesterday:

Hi Joanna,

Every night Glenn Beck inflames the right-wing fringe with his extremist rhetoric against President Obama, but now you have a chance to call him out.

Tell Glenn Beck what you think of his hate speech >>

He's called President Obama a "racist...with a deep-seated hatred for white people." He's compared health insurance reform to Nazi death camps during the Holocaust. He was the main promoter of the recent "9/12 rally" in Washington that featured vile hate speech against President Obama, Speaker Pelosi and the late Senator Ted Kennedy. Call him out! >>

Our grassroots action has a real impact. A few weeks ago, advertisers to Beck's nightly cable news show started pulling their ads because hundreds of thousands of grassroots activists like you spoke out.

Since this is the make or break month for President Obama's plan for health insurance reform, we have to keep fighting back against Beck and his extremist attacks >>

Thank you,
LiAnna
Care2 and ThePetitionSite Team

Ummmm...say what? Shouldn't you be rallying people to fight world hunger or save rain forests? Or maybe, if you disagree with Glenn Beck, you should spend your time convincing people that his views are incorrect? Since when did a tv show host become "the evil" that we are fighting? Should conservatives spend their time and efforts denouncing Keith Olbermann? (Hope the answer to this is apparent: Hell no! What a waste!) Here's what I wrote back to LiAnna and the Care2 team:

Hello,

I have subscribed to Care2 for some time now because I genuinely care about many of the issues facing our world. Care2 has alerted me to some causes that I previously hadn't had much awareness about. There is a lot of injustice out there--from starving children to people being forced into slavery, wildlife being destroyed, etc.

So in light of all those important, world-changing problems that I can care about and take action toward fixing, imagine how hard I laughed when I read this ridiculous email alerting me to "fight back against Glenn Beck and his extremist attacks." Can you really be serious?

What's more alarming, is that apparently I am a right-wing extremist because I disagree with many of President Obama's political stances. And--shock of all shocks--I agree with some of Glenn Beck's outrageous conservative political beliefs.

I'm very sorry that you chose to be so blatantly against a tv personality you happen to disagree with and are wasting my time with a petition against him. I am now unsubscribing to your email newsletters and will no longer support your organization.

Sincerely,
Joanna C. Samples

Is it just easier to hate?

2009-11-02T10:53:00.002-06:00

"You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You've got to be carefully taught!"
-Oscar Hammerstein, 1949 "South Pacific"

I love the words of this song. They are typically used to describe racism, but they are very relevant to all types of hate. You can hate people based on their lifestyle, the class they were born into, the religion they practice, the color of their shoes. Pretty much anything you wish to hate people for. This is often taught to us by our parents, teachers, peers.

Because we are living in a very politically charged moment, I want to address political hate. It is strong. I hear it in conversation, see it on tv and feel tension even on the internet. (You've all probably seen or been a part of a ridiculous political argument on Facebook. I know I have.)

To me, the two logical choices when I encounter people whose political beliefs are different than mine are to either A) live with the fact that we disagree or B) try to change their beliefs with logical discourse. But, is it just easier to hate them instead?

It sure seems like that's what our society does. Either you hate former President Bush, or you hate current President Obama. You have to hate someone you disagree with, right? You can't possibly show with your words and attitude that you genuinely respect both men while disagreeing with some or all of their policies. *Note the obvious sarcasm which is my desperate attempt to make a point.*

This is something for which I have felt disdain for quite some time. This is my warning to you that I DO NOT tolerate hearing people call other people they disagree with "evil." So if you would like to bash and berate someone, that's your problem. If you want to tell me WHY you think someone is making terrible decisions, then I welcome your ideas and conversation. Believe it or not, I've had some fruitful conversations with people of opposing ideas who've actually changed my mind about my political beliefs. (I know, shock of all shocks, right?)

More about what inspired this post tomorrow. Stay tuned!

Good night, Willie Lee, I'll see you in the morning.

2009-10-02T07:36:00.000-05:00

“Good night, Willie Lee, I’ll see you in the morning” by Alice Walker

Looking down into my father’s
dead face
for the last time
my mother said without
tears, without smiles
without regrets
but with civility
“Good night, Willie Lee, I’ll see you
in the morning.”
And it was then I knew that the healing
of all our wounds
is forgiveness
that permits a promise of our return
at the end.

Surviving a Loss

2009-09-26T13:42:00.005-05:00

On my other blog, I announced yesterday the recent death of our unborn baby. Last night we made a trip to the emergency room where I finished the labor and delivery of our precious child. He or she was alive inside my womb for about 9 weeks.

Molly Piper, who suffered the loss of a child just 2 years ago, had this to say on her blog:

So if you’re a mom like me, living without one (or more) of your children, take heart that this is indeed one of the hardest things you will ever live through. But that also means that you lived.

The lines around your eyes will deepen. But that also means you’ve seen. You’ve seen the chaos of pain. Your eyes have and will shed tears for people in their pain that you could’ve never understood before. This is a blessed gift.

Hold on with me. We’re gonna make it. We might not be the happy-go-lucky gals we used to be, but our lives here will tell stories of indescribable loss and the love of a God who made us to be exactly who we are—every line, every gray hair. None of it is wasted.

Amen.

Saving BIG Money on Groceries

2009-09-14T13:33:00.006-05:00

I love money. As a kid one of my favorite things to do was count and roll change. The feel of the coins in my hands always made me dream about the things that could be bought with it. Now that I'm a responsible, ahem, adult I realize that money doesn't just buy stuff--it buys freedom. Toby and I have the freedom to live in our very own house, use heating and air conditioning to make our lives comfortable, give to our church and to charity, buy gas for our cars...you get the picture. After all of our expenses are covered, that doesn't leave much money for food. And we like to eat. Silly us, right?

Saving money on groceries and toiletries has, in the past, consisted of just doing without, sometimes even going without things we really needed. Don't get me wrong, I still don't get to buy the junk food I crave (which is a good thing for my wallet and my health) but now I've learned how to get things we need and want while spending half of what I used to spend each month.

Before I share my secrets with you, let me just say that you do NOT have to do any of the things I do. In fact, if using coupons or shopping at certain stores horrifies you, by all means don't do it. But please don't waste time telling me why you can't do those things. You can do anything if you want to, but you don't have to either. That's the beauty of living in a free country.

My first and biggest secret I have learned is to subscribe to money saving blogs where very dedicated people have already done all the work for you. They will tell you what the best deals are at certain stores every week and where to find the coupons and how to score the deals. All you do is clip the coupons and go. It's a beautiful thing. Check out Money Saving Mom, Super Savvy Shopping, Jane4Girls, or someone local to you.

The next thing I've learned is to buy most of my groceries at Aldi. Several people in my life, including my dear husband, grew up in poverty and have very negative associations with this grocery store. Those issues aren't there for me, so I have no qualms about walking into Aldi and buying milk for $1.49, eggs for $0.88, bread for $1.49, etc. Sweet Baby James LOVES the cinnamon graham crackers from Aldi and doesn't mind that they aren't "name brand." I will caution you that there is a learning curve--you have to figure out which items at Aldi taste good and which don't. Since I'm VERY PICKY and like HIGH QUALITY ingredients, I would be happy to share my experiences with you anytime, just ask. I used to spend $100 a week on groceries at County Market or Wal-Mart--last week at Aldi my entire week of food cost $42.15. We were ecstactic!

The other trick I've learned (again, read those money saving blogs!) is how to use coupons correctly to get toiletries and groceries for FREE or for just pennies on the dollar. This is *usually* done at CVS and Walgreens, but sometimes Target, Meijer or Wal-Mart. Most of us don't use coupons well and don't stock up on items when they are cheap. My good friend Coupon Lady really opened my eyes to this. Coupon shopping is very effective, gratifying and downright fun, but it does require good organizational skills (which can be learned, trust me) and some space in your house or garage to store the stocked up items.

Some other money saving websites that may interest you are:
Baby Cheapskate
Slick Deals

What are some ways that YOU save money? I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts and ideas.

Back to School Speech from the President

2009-09-08T07:40:00.002-05:00

There's been a lot of talk about President Obama speaking to our children today via internet in classrooms across the country. It turns out that the whole thing has been blown completely out of proportion by some of us conservatives. His speech (though I've only read excerpts, quite honestly) is a fantastic message to our youth to work hard in school and in life. Check out the gist of the message according to John Piper at the Desiring God blog.

Let me be clear that I still want to be understanding to those who were weirded out by this whole thing. At first, I was under the impression that the content of Barack Obama's speech was NOT going to be made available to parents ahead of time. That is a bit unnerving to those of us who A) do not believe Obama is infallible and B) were unsure if this was a political endeavor to push his current agendas.

Quite frankly, I don't want public policy to be blindly pushed on my children whether it is policy with which I agree or disagree. My goal is to raise human beings who actually know what I believe/think and why, and then are able to logically come to their own conclusions. And let's be honest, I hope that they come to many of the same conclusions I have come to. Anyone who says that they wouldn't enjoy that is lying to you or lying to themselves. But more than that, I want for my kids (and I hope you want for yours) to learn how to critically think through everything so that they have solid reasons for the principles they stand on, no matter what those principles may turn out to be.

Random thought: Isn't it totally weird that I now can say I have childREN? It feels weird to me.

Grieving the Loss of Mike Samples

2009-08-31T07:54:00.004-05:00

Mike Samples passed away yesterday morning. He was staying with his twin sister at her home and she insisted that he go to the hospital because he wasn't well. She went to change her clothes and he said he wanted a nap instead. By the time she changed her clothes and came back to Mike he had peacefully passed away.

There is some relief in knowing his two decade long fight with AIDS is over. Also a severe diabetic, he often had major blood sugar spikes and dips which made him pass out. Over the past year he has suffered blockages, surgeries and organs shutting down. The pain and suffering is finally over.

Although Mike is my husband's half-brother, I didn't know him very well. But I will never forget the light in his eyes when he held my Sweet Baby James for the first time. He was delighted to see the sweet smile of a child who looked so much like his brother Toby.

Mike's battle may be over, but there is still a lot of unfinished business. Please pray for our family as we grieve this loss. I am very sad that Mike never knew Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. He desperately needed God's grace, mercy, love and forgiveness. I am also sad that he didn't find acceptance in this world. Many people who mistakenly assumed they would have to accept Mike's homosexual lifestyle in order to love and respect him decided to reject him completely. Most of those people are still ignorant of the consequences of their actions, but some are having to deal with their past choices and are having a hard time coping now that there is no chance for reconciliation.

While we didn't always agree with Mike's choices, we genuinely loved him. From the way Mike interacted with us, I believe he knew this and loved us too. Thank you for your prayers and sensitivity at this time. We found out the news as we drove to church yesterday morning, but we didn't turn around to go home because we knew that our loving family at Temple Baptist would be waiting there to support us and help us through this time. I can't thank you enough for those who have given us their condolences and offered to help in any way they can.

Pregnancy & Exercise

2009-08-25T10:12:00.004-05:00

A second pregnancy is much different than a first. For example, with my first pregnancy I wasn't showing until about 3 months along. As opposed to this pregnancy, where 6 weeks into being pregnant the beach ball tummy has already emerged. With my first pregnancy I felt fantastic for the first trimester, minus the increase in allergy/sinus issues. This time around I'm riding the nausea waves and feeling pretty miserable in addition to the aforementioned allergy/sinus issues.

Nonetheless, I'm exercising with my preggo neighbor and doing prenatal yoga. Oh, and I'm still doing that whole running 4 miles 3 times a week thing. If you live in my neighborhood, please don't tell me how much I look like Santa Claus as I run by your house. No matter where you live, DO go check out the News-Gazette for the (almost) full page, color article about my See Mama Ru n effort. Thus far we've raised $250 for the West Side Park.

(In case you haven't figured it out yet, the picture above is a beached whale.)

See Mama Run

2009-08-17T07:25:00.003-05:00

I just launched a new blog called See Mama Run. This is an effort to raise money for playground equipment at our local park. See those swings in the picture above? That is the only piece of equipment we have. Pretty lame, huh?

Our children deserve more than a rusty set of swings! Please check out my blog to read more about my commitment to run 5.5 miles in October. I need you, dear readers, to do one or more of the following things:

Contribute financially--even $1/mile will be a big help!
Become a supporter of my See Mama Run blog--you can log in on the left hand side to do this.
Tell everyone you know to visit my blog--the more visits the site receives the more donations West Side Park will receive and *hopefully* some advertisers will contribute too!

If anyone reading this has any contacts in the local media and is willing to help me get their attention (like the News-Gazette, WCIA3, etc.) please let me know!

Thanks for supporting me. It means more to me than you could ever know.

The weird pregnancy dreams have begun!

2009-08-13T08:03:00.004-05:00

Last night I was in an Elvis movie. Well, not really a movie, it was sort of real but it had the plot of pretty much every Elvis movie ever made. And Elvis was pursuing me. Did I mention that this was a dream? My mom was a widow and I had a rebellious sister--rebellious because she wore jeans and hung around with a boy. [Scandalous, no?] I, on the other hand, wore skirts like a good girl and helped my mother around the house. This was the 1950's after all.

Elvis came to install an appliance in our home and became intent upon courting me, going so far as to invite himself to dinner and charm my mother into letting me take a chaperoned walk with him. Much to my disappointment, I woke up from the dream just as he was about to sing "Love Me Tender" with the guitar he just happened to pull out of nowhere.

Pregnancy hormones are so weird.

When I'm Wrong, I'm Way Wrong

2009-08-12T16:18:00.010-05:00

The surprise post today was supposed to be this big announcement about running a half marathon in May to raise money for our local park. I was pretty psyched to announce my new website as well as the website for our local neighborhood watch program [which is in charge of raising money for playground equipment].

But apparently, God has other plans. It seems I'm going to be too busy to run the half marathon in May.

In case you didn't catch that, let me make it even more clear:

Yes, this is me eating some crow. I assure you I had no idea that there was a new baby growing inside of me when I posted that there was a big surprise coming your way. When I'm wrong...I'm way wrong. But sometimes those "wrongs" are big blessings. And this particular blessing will be making his/her entrance into this world around the middle of April. So, SURPRISE to you and to me.

Blog Makeover

2009-08-10T14:29:00.004-05:00

Hello Readers! Happy Great Mom Monday!

In honor of GMM, I took my Sweet Baby James and his friends to Curtis Orchard for some yummy apple donuts, apple cider, and [of course] apples! The weather was perfect and the company [moms and kids from our meetup group] was fantastic.

As you may have already noticed, this blog just received a, ahem, much needed makeover. This Mama is becoming more tech savvy and digging into the world of web design. Unfortunately I can't take credit for this beautiful template, but I'm beginning to understand the language behind it. Please pardon my dust as the tweaking and fixing of the template begins.

Oh, and hold on to your socks. I've got a surprise that may knock them off!

And no, there is NOT a baby on the way. I know what you were thinking. Shame on you for jumping to conclusions. ;-)

Win FREE Diapers!

2009-08-02T06:18:00.003-05:00

Check out this website for your chance to win free diapers AND a pair of BabyLegs!

Running on Empty

2009-07-20T18:23:00.004-05:00

If you are a parent, you've probably experienced this phenomena. Some days (or maybe even every day) it seems that you are running on empty. You aren't getting enough sleep, have given into eating a poor diet and are mentally fatigued. It makes you feel like a sack of crap, for lack of better example. It sabotages creativity, productivity and even your weight.

I wish there was a quick and easy answer to prevent burnout [because I'd sure make a lot of money by selling that information!] but I do know that we simply aren't designed to give and give without recharging on a regular basis. As I type this, I feel that I'm running on empty and need to recharge, but don't really have the luxury of time to do so. Praise God that we are being whisked away on vacation in a very short amount of time! It is a much needed break. And I fully intend to have a day [which probably really means half a day] of kid-free time, all to myself at some point during that week.

Fill'er up, I'm running on E.

Running 3.2 miles isn't so bad...

2009-07-10T13:00:00.002-05:00

...but 13.1 sounds a bit nutty. Don't even get me started on the whole 26.2 miles thing. Are you marathoners totally insane, or what? Anyway, I'm publicly committing to run the Half Marathon (13.1 miles) on May 1st, 2010 at the Illinois Marathon. Now it's your turn to hold me accountable to this. In fact at any point in time from this day forward until the marathon, I give you full permission to harass me about how much [how little] I've been running that particular week.

In addition, expect to hear lots of groaning, complaining, whining and general unhappiness about my current lifestyle choice. And don't be surprised if I start fantasizing about an open bag of Doritos, a LaZboy recliner and a Gilmore Girls marathon. [Cause really, that's the kind of marathon that I'm used to, one that involves the active participation of changing the DVD when we run out of episodes to watch.]

FAIL Friday

2009-07-10T07:46:00.004-05:00

Welcome to this edition of FAIL! Friday. Hope your week has gone well and you haven't experienced too many FAILs this week yourself. Mine happened just yesterday and I have to say, it was pretty darn cute. If it weren't so disgusting, I would've made James recreate it so I could take a picture.

Our yard is in the midst of a makeover, with a truly ambitious landscaping project underway. The tiger lilies desperately needed to be transplanted, the ground needs to be dug up for the edgers, and we need to get some landscaping rocks....all that is to say, I'm feeling the pinch and needed to focus on something other than James. Which means: WHATEVER MAKES JAMES QUIET, JAMES GETS TO DO while Mama is busy. Don't lie--you've let your kids do crazy stuff while you were busy too.

On this particular day, what made James quiet was drinking out of the water hose. Not too bad, you might be thinking, but you didn't see how muddy this water hose was. I look over at James only to see his mouth covered with mud. And a great big smile. Who knew mud tasted so yummy?

Runnin' Fool

2009-07-06T13:36:00.003-05:00

Those of you who follow my tweets know that my DH and I ran a 5k in the rain on Saturday. It was good for me to have another 5k run, even though I was not prepared at all this time. My awesome neighbor who helped me train for the Illinois Marathon 5k was on vacation this time around, but has agreed to train with me for a 10k in August.

We ran/walked about 3.5 miles today. Here we go again...

Great Mom Mondays

2009-06-28T18:47:00.004-05:00

By special request from libbygirl, I bring to you Great Mom Mondays. This is the post where I tell you something fantastic that I have done/am doing for my Sweet Baby James or my wonderful husband Toby.

This week's "Great Mom Award" is given to me for feeding my family healthy foods. It is such a thrill to me that my 16 month old child can't get enough fruit and veggies every day. This spring I planted a garden and just picked my very first zucchini on Saturday. With a dash of olive oil, salt and pepper, fresh garlic, basil, topped with cheese, the zucchini baked very nicely. James and I (and even Toby!) couldn't get over how yummy it was!

FAIL Fridays

2009-06-26T08:00:00.001-05:00

In an attempt to A) blog more and B) be real, I present to you a little something called FAIL! Fridays. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, although you probably thought that I am the most perfect parent in the entire world (sarcasm is dripping here, in case you didn't catch it), actually I mess up quite a bit. And not just in a "Oh, I forgot to starch that pair of jeans when I ironed every piece of laundry" kind of fail. I'm talking about failing on a bigger, much funnier scale.

Like the time when Sweet Baby James was 11 months old and I didn't yet realize how long his arms were. The boy could reach things on the kitchen table that were not on the edge. Did I know this? Nope. So I left a (cold) cup of coffee on the table.

James picked it up, walked down the hall to the office where I was busy typing and talking on the cell phone. I turn around to see him chugging the coffee. So instead of being the rational, calm Mama who handles the situation well, I excitedly say "JAMES AARON!" which causes my child to throw the coffee cup across the room, meaning the rest of the coffee then had to be scrubbed out of my beige carpet.

And in case you are wondering, he did bounce of the walls and it was a nightmare to get him to sleep that night.

Mom Jobs

2009-06-25T10:38:00.000-05:00

Like I said yesterday, I desire to work in order to pay off my mortgage quicker. But I'm not willing to spend a lot of time away from my Sweet Baby James. And paying babysitters to watch your kid while you work is EXPENSIVE! [Can I hear an amen?]

So what to do?

Here are some jobs I've tried in the past/am currently trying. This is not an exhaustive list of job opportunities, by any means, but it may be of some help to you.

Mary Kay Consultant - I used to be active in the Mary Kay company before mommyhood. It was a great job. Really! It was super easy to make $100/hour and it was fun to go have girl-time and laughter while making money. My biggest reasons for not continuing is that A) I don't want to be away from my son and husband at night and that was my best time to do parties B) I'm not taking care of my skin anymore and it shows. Mentally, I can't imagine trying to tell women they should take care of themselves when clearly I am not doing it myself. Rather sad, yes?

Day Care Worker - Working at Kids 1st was a blast. I worked there until my due date and contemplated working there after James' birth. But there are a few foreseeable problems with this. The first is that although they are INCREDIBLY GENEROUS to allow employees to take breaks every 2 hours to breastfeed, it has to be scheduled. And my child wanted to nurse more often than that. If you feel that nursing on demand is important, well tough luck sister. Cloth diapering would not have been possible either since licensed daycare facilities don't do it. Also, if I would've stayed there in my spot in the 2's room, I would've spent the entire day looking out my door across the hall to the baby room where my son would be. Not actually getting to bond with him, just looking at him from a distance. Not fun. Financially it wouldn't have helped me much because HALF of my paycheck would have gone BACK to the daycare. (Yes, they charge the employees for using the daycare.)

Nannying/Babysitting - This is by far my favorite job. Since the birth of James I have nannied for 2 different families. This can be tricky because it's a big relationship between you, your child, the children you babysit and the parents of the child you babysit. There's a TON of factors to consider, such as: How many kids can you realistically watch including your own? Does your child's personality mesh well with the other children? How many hours a week are you comfortable working and how many hours do the parents need? Where are you going to babysit, in your own home or theirs? Are you willing to drive with the kids to practices, playdates, etc.? Despite all the work it requires to figure this all out, when you find a great family and develop a relationship with them that works well for all involved, babysitting can be the most spectacular job. And MAJOR BONUS: You still get to be with your child all day.

Delivering Newspapers - On Wednesdays I deliver a newspaper called "The Accent" which is the free version of the News-Gazette. This is a fantastic job because it isn't scheduled for you--as long as you get the paper delivered by 7pm every Wednesday you get paid for it. My typical routine is to get up early on Wednesdays and put James in a stroller and do half of the route, (1 hour 15 minutes). Then I put the route on pause, go babysit (which is a stone's throw away from my route) and after my day of babysitting the Mom I nanny for babysits James while I do the other half of the route (1 hour). If I did this all in one chunk, sans kid, it would only take 2 hours. This doesn't pay extremely well since there are very few hours involved, but it is really good exercise!

Now it's your turn. Do you have any [legit] part-time job ideas? Do you have ideas about how to work with your child in tow or finding inexpensive childcare?

Why I Work

2009-06-24T13:10:00.004-05:00

The subject of Working Moms vs Stay At Home Moms is a touchy subject and a complicated one at best. At the risk of offending or alienating friends (so sorry in advance if anyone takes it personally--it's not meant to point fingers or deem any mom right or wrong in their life choices) I would like to delve into why I consider myself both a Working Mom (WM) and a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM).

Ahem. [Deep breath.]

I am a WM because I work. Simple logic, yes? Currently I have two jobs: babysitting for a friend in her home and delivering a weekly newspaper (more about that tomorrow). So 4 days a week I work outside my home.

But I'm still sort of a SAHM because, excluding the 1 hour a week in which I deliver the paper sans Sweet Baby James, he is with me every second of the day. (Trust me, I've tried to lose him. He always comes back. J/K of course!!!) So while we may not be physically in my house 24/7, I get the joy and responsibility of being with my child full-time.

Interestingly, many wonderful, caring mamas around me have given me very very different advice about this. Some, like my MommyPal , would tell you that she will make whatever sacrifices necessary to be at home with her little ones and working is not an option for her. She values spending as much time as possible with them and being the full-time educator/nurturer/cook/etc. for her family. On the flip side, a former boss told me that she truly felt working full time and having her kids in daycare is the only way to go--she felt fulfilled, her kids loved daycare, her husband was happy, and she never felt like a "tired, old mom."

Just so you know, there is middle ground too! A very wise, seasoned Mom that I crop with has told me that she is a better mom when she works part-time. And she has been blessed to have her husband watch her children while they were very young and then taken them to preschool part-time when they were a bit older. (She also highly recommends teaching college courses as a mom job--she found that she could teach while the children were taking their naps and then be done in time to pick them up afterward so she didn't miss any of their day!)

In case you don't know/couldn't tell, I tend to fall into the "staying at home is best" mindset, but at the same time I want more for myself. That's right, I'm not lying to myself and pretending it's all about James. It's not. You see, there's this lofty ambition tossing about in my head that my mortgage will be paid off in 2020. That's only 11 years away, and we've only been paying on the house for 3 years. The idea of being 36 years old with a paid off mortgage makes me swoon. How crazy/awesome would that be?

Call me a Dave Ramsey fangirl if you must, but it's my dream. Toby and I haven't been the best with money, we've made our share of mistakes along the way. (We've even had credit cards before but *shhhhh!* don't tell Dave!) Currently though, we have no debt other than our mortgage and we have 2 months living expenses saved up in case Murphy comes to visit. That's a great start--but we can do even better! We are willing to work hard in order to pay off our mortgage FASTER than we have to, because the payoff (thousands of dollars in saved interest, financial freedom, psychological benefits of being out of debt, etc.) is totally worth it.

At the same time, this is a challenge because I want to be with my child as much as possible. I want to teach him what I value and believe. I want to spend as much of his day with him that I can because he will be off to college before we can blink. Hence, my quest to find part-time work that will benefit my family financially without sacrificing too much of my precious time.

Tomorrow's blog post: Mom Jobs.
Jobs that I have tried, others I might be willing to try. Your experiences and input welcome!

One of those days

2009-06-22T18:19:00.004-05:00

No, this is not a picture of me. But I feel this way far too often. It is one of those days where I want to pull my hair out. Sweet [Sour] Baby James has been quite the character. Not really worse than usual, but a pickle nonetheless. The sweet darling [little monster] has only had a 20 minute nap today. Even though he is really tired, he just refuses to go to sleep.

In typical clingy fashion, he would not let go of my leg as I dangerously cook dinner. (One of these days the hot olive oil on the stove is going to spill or pop James and I will feel horrible.) Every single time he has to be in the car he screams bloody murder all. the. way. to. our. destination. My head is going to explode.

But, you may be thinking, there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel! Bedtime is not so far away and surely this child will fall asleep easily since he is so tired.

I say to you: HA! You've never met James.

I hate to love Shoe Carnival but...

2009-06-21T16:27:00.005-05:00

...that store does save me money. Big time. I learned a few years ago that I must wear Asics sneakers to avoid nasty shin splints. But the $100 price tag freaks me out.

Enter: Shoe Carnival. Thanks to BOGO sales, coupons, a club membership card, and special holiday sales, I just can't avoid this most annoying retailer of shoes.

Yesterday's trip produced a really nice pair of Doc Martens for my hubby, a new pair of Asics for me to dedicate solely to running, and a pair of Sketchers for me to wear every day. With tax, the total came to $118.50. To put that in perspective, I might have spent that much for one pair of Asics at the mall.

Dear James,

2009-06-04T22:13:00.004-05:00

This week you said your first sentence. "Oh! You did it!" You were so proud of me because I turned on the light switch that you were pointing at. Before this you were screaming bloody murder and I was about to go bonkers. But then you stopped and your eyes lit up and you exclaimed "Oh! You did it!"

You are barely even 15 months old, but you've sure hit that milestone month where everything happens at once. You scoop up yogurt and feed yourself, to which I exclaim, "You did it!" You are starting to help pick up toys and put them away in their containers. "You did it, James!" We sing together, play silly games and I watch how your mind is developing so quickly. Today you told me you had to poop and then you pooped in your potty. "You did it! You pooped in the potty!"

When I tell you that you are Mama's big boy, you say "I baby!" But I have to disagree. You are becoming a big boy and I love watching you grow.

Hugs and kisses,
Mama

Hello, my name is Joanna and I have a high need child

2009-06-01T07:01:00.002-05:00

James has a different personality than the majority of kids I've encountered in my entire life. I wrote about this before, and it is still very true that James is a high need kid. At 15 months old he still does not sleep through the night. He still screams frequently throughout the day, especially when he has to be confined in some way (like having a diaper put on, being buckled into a car seat, being locked out by a baby gate, etc.). James is intense and not very compliant.

Becoming a first time mom is tough. Adding a high need child to the mix can push you to the brink of insanity. It is almost like keeping a terrible, awful secret. I constantly feel pressure (from myself and from society) to smile and say "Oh things are just perfect!" rather than truly admit that some days are filled with desperation. There are the nagging fears that maybe James is autistic or has some other type of disorder. Sometimes the doubts settle in that I wasn't really meant to be a mom.

Browsing the web, I stumbled across the blog of another mom with a high need child. She writes about her struggles, highs and lows in such a raw, honest way. It leaves me in tears and also helps me feel...less isolated. I long for a high need support group. Wouldn't that be awesome? Of course, with all our children running around screaming at us, we wouldn't be able to talk to each other. But at least we'd all be together. And we'd understand.

Q: How To Score a Nintendo Wii for $13

2009-05-31T07:08:00.003-05:00

A: Buy 13 $1 raffle tickets at "Pack the Park" event in Thomasboro, then win the raffle.

Happy (Early) Birthday to Me!!! :-)

Why I let my son play with dolls..(and why that doesn't mean I'm a feminist)

2009-05-12T16:13:00.006-05:00

James has a baby doll. Her name is Baby. (Creative, yes?) He kisses Baby, hugs her, then spikes her on the ground like a football. When he gets ahold of a baby doll stroller, he races it around the house, complete with his own car noises. He also makes those same vroooom noises when he pretends to vacuum with my little pink vacuum (see above pic). He "cooks" in his play kitchen too.

Am I trying to turn him into a girl? No.
Do I think that boys and girls are brainwashed by society? No.

But that doesn't mean I should discourage my son from being a good husband and father someday.

It's natural for James to see his Daddy hold another baby at church and want to mimic that. In fact, sometimes he sees Daddy cook, do dishes, and surely he's already picked up on the fact that Daddy is much better at organizing than Mama. It doesn't diminish my role as the wife and mother in the relationship--in fact it often enhances it. Who isn't a better person when she gets help or a much-needed break? (Can I hear an amen?) And it doesn't mean my husband is less of a man. (Trust me, it's sexy to watch my man's muscles while he changes a light bulb or bends over to pick up a toy.)

So why would I insist that James ONLY play with trucks and tools? Certainly he plays with boy-ish toys, but while he's learning about life, he's going to mimic everything he sees around him. And that's a pretty cool thing, IMHO.

It's a Small World After All

2009-04-24T14:57:00.002-05:00

My DH has been out of town 3 of the last 4 weeks. James and I have missed him very much, and I'm pretty exhausted from being the full-time single parent. This past week I did not have to babysit, so we packed a bag and headed to Southern Illinois for a week of helping out Aunt Ellen with her kiddos, including 3 week old Baby Jake. More to come on Jake, but first a cute story of my train ride to So. Ill.

We sat on a crowded car, very near a little old lady with lots of rings on her fingers, nails freshly manicured, and a sparkle in her beautiful eyes. She told me of her grandkids and great-grandkids pictures in hand. She just loved talking to Baby James the entire train-ride from Champaign to Carbondale.

She asked, "What is your son's name?" to which I replied "James." Her face lit up. "Oh, I'll never ever forget that. My husband's name is James." When we arrived at the train station, her husband was there to meet her, and my mom was there to meet me. After hugs and kisses and a walk to the car, my mom told me who I'd been talking to on the train ride. The woman's husband, James, was my mom's 5th grade teacher.

"...it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world..."

Free Dog Food or An Ode to Couponing

2009-03-25T12:26:00.004-05:00

Ok, I'm really getting into this coupon thing now. This week alone, I have giddily bought baby wipes at CVS and paid 5 pennies and 11 cans of Hunts Tomato Sauce at Walgreens for 33 cents--both purchases are including tax! To think that only a few months ago I didn't believe such a beautiful thing existed. Now it is my new hobby.

In addition to stocking our pantry with food and toiletries, one of my goals has been to help my sister get ready for her baby. (Due date: tomorrow!) Her DH, a commercial electrician, is about to be laid off and so we are working together to make sure her cabinets are full of the right things to minimize stress in the next coming months.

Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart to get dog food for their puppy, Rookie.
$35 of Iams dog food - $35 in Iams coupons = $2.33 tax out of my pocket.
It doesn't get much sweeter than that.

My Heart Is At Home!

2009-03-15T05:59:00.003-05:00

Thanks to my wonderful husband, I got to spend a rejuvating weekend at a retreat called "Hearts at Home" on the campus of ISU. The theme was Real Moms and it was truly incredible. There is relief and encouragement in knowing that you are not alone--your struggles are common, your fears are common, and there are others out there who share similar interests.

We also got to hear from many amazing speakers like Bill and Pam Farrel who wrote "Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti," Kevin Leman who has written many many books, including "The Birth Order Book" and Jill Savage who is the founder of Hearts at Home.

The main entertainment was Go Fish, who were completely hilarious. The Mom Song is now on my list of faves. Check it out!

Stealing? Nah, just couponing.

2009-03-08T19:39:00.004-05:00

Check out my Raising Baby on a Shoestring Budget blog to see how I "ripped Walgreens off" by walking out of their store with $110.33 in merchandise, but only paying them $14.68.

Freedom to Worship

2009-03-08T15:26:00.002-05:00

When we think of the persecuted believers in China, I express my gratefulness to live in a country that allows freedom to believe and worship whatever or whoever I desire to worship. I am thankful that, unlike Christians in China, my pastor has never asked me to promise that I will defend my faith *when* the government comes to take me away to prison.

But today, I felt a little bit nervous being inside my church building. At the beginning of the service, when everyone was shaking hands and greeting one another, I walked up to Micah and asked if I could sit next to him. He never took his eyes off of his cell phone. He'd just received a text message that the pastor of the First Baptist Church in Maryville, Illinois had been shot and killed during the first morning service, with others injured.

I asked "Is this for real?" and just stood there in shock. How can this be? Why would a gunman walk into a church and open fire? You can read the story yourself here. This is a sad day in my country, in my own state when people feel threatened to express their beliefs. I would also like to express my thanks to God that my former collegiate minister who was visiting the church was not hurt.

Who Wants Clean House?

2009-03-06T13:41:00.006-06:00

I'm addicted to this tv show on the Style Network called "Clean House." (James and Baby G always take their naps while it is on.) It's pretty much like "Clean Sweep," only with more attitude. I watch this show 3 times a week, and it never fails to horrify and amaze me. Every. single. time.

Now granted, I'm a messy person. Just ask my Dear Husband! He will testify to that any time you'd like to talk about it. But eventually I have to face my clutter and deal with it. In fact, when I do that on a reglar basis (eg daily) then my life is calmer and my days are smoother.

Which is why I'm in shock at how these people on Clean House live everyday. How do you function in a room that you can't even walk into or sit down in? How do you live in the present when your house is overrun with furniture and knickknacks from your past that you don't even use?

The most interesting aspect of the show, IMHO, is getting down to the nitty-gritty: figuring out why people can't give up their material possessions in order to have a clean, functioning home. There is ALWAYS some kind of underlying issue. Some of them have parents who are pack-rats and taught them to live this way. (Another reminder that modeling good behaviors for my son is so important!) Others have a spouse or parent who died, and they equate the memories of their loved one with their loved one's belongings. Yet others become hoarders because they "might need" their junk someday.

Here's what dear FlyLady has to say:

Clutter has been our security blanket for a very long time. It protected us from people, hard times and having to face ourselves. When our homes are cluttered, we don’t have people over. That way we don’t have to open ourselves up for the public to see how we really are.
If you are having anxiety attacks about releasing some of this clutter in
your home; stop and think about what you are afraid of.

1. Is it the security of have 3 of an item, in case one breaks?
2. How about the memories that the item evokes when you see it?
3. And there is always the “Aunt Mary gave us this when we married.”
4. I spent a lot of money on this. I can’t possibly give it away.
5. Oh, I can fix this, but it has been in the basement for 15 years waiting to be fixed.

I want you to think about these reasons and look deep into the heart of them.
I love you, Flylady! You are the master at getting to the heart of the issue. Maybe you should co-host Clean House?

Almost One!

2009-02-26T06:09:00.004-06:00

The countdown has begun: Sweet Baby James is just 19 hours away from turning One!

I'm praying that James' birthday will be a wonderful day for us as we celebrate [surviving] the first year of James' life. There are many obstacles trying to prevent that from happening, including having to reschedule James' birthday party due to a death in the family, James running a fever this morning (IDK if he's really sick or just teething) and Toby has been out of town ALL WEEK and I miss him dearly.

Currently I am exhausted and cranky, but I promise once I get in a better mood to post something sappy/sweet about my darling One Year Old.

Understanding How Culture Views Christians

2009-02-24T07:45:00.003-06:00

My Sunday School class has begun to look at different issues in our culture today in an attempt to understand them in a more indepth way. We are taking controversial issues like homosexuality, abortion, seven day creationism vs. science, treatment of women, etc. and attempting to answer 4 questions:

1) What does our culture say about this issue?
2) What do non-Christians think that the "Christian" position is on the issue? Are Christians viewed in a positive or negative light because of it?
3) What do I think about the issue?
4) What does the Bible actually say?

The best part about this endeavor is that we are posting the topics on this blog and asking for both Christians and non-Christians to be VERY OPEN AND HONEST with their reactions to these questions. This week we are talking about tolerance. If you have a few moments, please check it out here and leave us a comment. We really want to know what YOU think and believe, it can even be very negative towards our way of thinking.

Hopefully this goes without saying, but just in case, here goes: Please don't start a fight with other commenters. Respect the fact that we humans all have different opinions and beliefs.

Best. Valentine's. Card. Ever.

2009-02-14T15:51:00.003-06:00

This is what the card from my sweet husband says:

For the woman who shares my life.

You are all kinds of love to me...
...you are my everyday love, my fold-the-laundry love, my steal-the-covers love, and my one-more-kiss love...

But mostly, you are my forever-and-ever love.

*swoon*

Week 3: Training for 5k with James

2009-02-12T10:50:00.004-06:00

I took an EXTREMELY long time off of running because it has been so stinkin' cold outside!

This week I have hit the road again, this time with James and jogging stroller in tow. It definitely makes training for the 5k a bit tougher, but on the upside I don't have to wait on a babysitter.

Welfare, the Stimulus Package and Socialism

2009-02-12T06:05:00.005-06:00

This post is offensive. But it is truly how I feel.

I DO want to help people. I genuinely do. There are many out there who need a helping hand, people who can't find work, are disabled, or have had some unlucky breaks. These people should not be left alone to suffer without aid, but the aid should not come from the government, IMHO.

Our society has become very dependent on welfare and now we are starting an even bigger dependency on "bailouts" ie Stimulus Packages. We are well on our way to becoming a socialist country.

Perhaps I can't fully explain the depth of the situation to you without a one-on-one chat over coffee. Adrian Rodgers said it well when he wrote:

“You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.”

HT: JaLyn Morris

Baby Kenton

2009-02-04T15:15:00.002-06:00

My friend Debra (finally) gave birth to her baby boy, Kenton Samuel, on Friday afternoon. Isn't he precious?

My Time

2009-01-28T15:59:00.004-06:00

This is a bit overdue, but as promised I want to share with you what I discovered from logging my time last week.

I. do. not. get. enough. alone. time.

I have truly forgotten what it is like to not be needed 24/7 and the time log convinced me of just how much I need to recharge my batteries. Most of my days are spent with a baby on my hip, in my arms, or crying to be held. Don't get me wrong--I chose the SAHM way of life and I'm grateful for it, but that doesn't mean that we SAHMs don't need to take breaks throughout our day.

Also, I spend a LOT of time just trying to get my son to sleep and keeping him asleep.

Roe No More

2009-01-22T09:21:00.001-06:00

Visit this link:
Between Two Worlds: Roe No More.

After reading it myself, all I can say is...wow.

Question of the Week

2009-01-21T15:56:00.003-06:00

What’s more challenging — parenting or marriage?

My answer: Hands-down, parenting is harder than marriage. Marriage isn't easy, in fact it can present its own challenges. But parenting is a whole new arena, trying to quickly figure out what you are doing and wondering if you are hindering the development of another human being in the process. Not to mention the sleep exhaustion, crying, diaper changing and 24 hour-a-day/7 day-a-week attention that your child requires.

What do you think?

What wouldn't YOU do in front of your spouse?

2009-01-20T06:33:00.003-06:00

How open are you about personal hygiene and bodily functions in front of your husband/wife?

"Doug Lueder and his wife Sam have wildly disparate ideas of what's appropriate to display in front of others, a philosophical difference that literally exploded one night during their courtship: Doug tried to impress Sam by holding a lighter to his backside while passing gas."

This article on CNN.com made me chuckle. To be quite honest, I've been with my DH long enough to become very comfortable--MUCH more comfortable than I ever imagined I'd become. Passing gas, popping zits, peeing with the door open...all things that I never wanted to do in front of Toby, but have become relaxed about.

On one hand, it takes away a bit of the mystery. When we were dating, I just showed up for the date, fresh and lovely. Now my sweetheart sees me pluck my eyebrows, slap on deodorant and paint my face with brushes and makeup in order to be "naturally" fresh and lovely.

On the other hand, our openness is a genuine expression of the intimacy we've achieved in our marriage. We are accustomed to leaving ourselves vulnerable to each other because we have a high level of trust. And that is a beautiful, sacred thing.

What Does a SAHM Do All Day?

2009-01-19T12:27:00.003-06:00

My husband sometimes wonders what I do all day. I know this, because he has asked me before, and the conversation usually goes something like this:

Toby: Hey honey, how was your day?
Joanna: It was a normal day.
Toby: So, what exactly does normal look like? What do you do when I'm at work?
Joanna: (after much laughter) I think it would be easier to eliminate the things I don't do, rather than try to explain everything I do in my day.

Talking to other SAHMs who have the same frustrations answering that question has made me come to terms with one thing that I already knew (head knowledge) before I became a SAHM, but now I know (experience daily). I work really hard at my job as Home Executive, but have little to nothing tangible to show for it. For example, this morning I have busted my butt to do laundry and clean my house, but the laundry will get dirty and the house will get messy very quickly.

To answer the question "What do you do all day?" is complicated. Not only do I feel that I have nothing tangible to show for my efforts, I constantly have to multi-task--which often leads to getting nothing fully accomplished. For us human beings who are task oriented, this can be downright discouraging.

Starting today, I am logging everything I do in a day as an experiment. It will be interesting to see how I spend my time each day and how consistent my week is. Maybe there will even be a few lessons learned about priorities along the way. Expect results next week.

Sometimes I forget I'm a Mom

2009-01-15T07:17:00.002-06:00

That sounds weird, doesn't it? But it's true. There are moments when I just stop and think Wow, did I really give birth to this little wild animal, er, boy? Maybe it is because I am so young, or maybe I just feel too young, but it has been a surreal experience to become a mother.

Last night was a time for reflection and contemplation as I had a few minutes to myself. (Yahoo!) Without typing paragraphs and paragraphs on why all SAHM's desperately need time for themselves, let me just say that last night I looked my DH in the eye and said "YOU are the designated parent for now."

In James News: He is walking everywhere these days, looking like a little drunk man. Currently we are going through teething mode, I think tooth #9 is about to make it's appearance. He is also giving out sweet (slobbery) kisses these days and growing like a weed. It's hard to believe that he's a month-and-a-half away from being a year old!

Week Two = Injury #1

2009-01-10T17:13:00.006-06:00

This morning I stepped outside my front door to go running and slipped on the sheet of ice covering my front step. This forced me into doing the splits which resulted in much pain. As much as it hurts today, it'll really be a doozy tomorrow. A pulled groin is no laughing matter, but I can't help recalling the words of Bugs Bunny:

"Watch out for that first step, it's a real lulu!"

Week One is DONE

2009-01-05T10:30:00.004-06:00

The Couch-to-5k Plan consists of 9 weeks training. I have completed week one.

I'm proud of myself for taking the first step, but a little disappointed in how out-of-shape I am. It has been a loooong time since H.S. softball & volleyball practices forced me to exercise. 3 months until the 5k in C-U!

Goals for 2009

2009-01-01T09:51:00.003-06:00

2008 was a great year. It was the year in which my son, James, was born. It marked my 4th wedding anniversary with the love of my life. I quit my job to raise my son, then became a part-time nanny. Although our life has changed so much in the past year, it has been both a challenge and a blessing from God. Here's what I've got in store to work on in 2009.

Physical fitness. Back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but in desperate need of becoming fit, I have committed to running a 5k on April 11. I will keep you posted each week about how training is going.
Taking better care of me. Each day I will make healthier eating choices and begin to (re-) adopt habits that keep me healthy. It's the little things I've neglected, like consistently washing my face, flossing my teeth, etc., that have to change for my own sanity and well being.
Spiritual maturity. Reading my Bible every day via RSS feed has already become habit, but I want to study the Scriptures more and be in constant prayer in order to be more obedient to my Heavenly Father.
A sibling for James. After much prayerful consideration, Toby and I made the decision to let our babies happen the natural way. As James weans himself, this means that I will hopefully be able to conceive this year. We are praying that God will bless us with many children and that we will be faithful to raise them up in righteousness.

Happy New Year to you all!

New Year's Resolution: Couch to 5k

2008-12-28T20:34:00.005-06:00

During my senior year at U of I, I resolved, along with some gal pals, to run a 5k. Never before had I been a runner. An athlete, yes, but never a runner. In fact, my general slowness and flat feet had always been a hindrance in sports. So I began to train slowly and surely by running at CRCE. Until...

...my shins began to ache so badly I could barely walk. After some healing time, a helpful consultation with an expert at Body N' Sole and some special running shoes, the shin splints went away. But my confidence was shattered and I gave up on my goal. Thanks to some inspiration from my brother and sister-in-law plus an awesome husband who is good at running, I have decided to run my first 5k on April 11, 2009. It should be a good time, with the race ending on the 50 yard line at Memorial Stadium.

Today was my first day of training. I alternated walking and jogging according to Day 1 Week 1 of the Couch to 5k plan which took me about 24 minutes. In that time I covered 1.5 miles. Not shabby for a first effort, I think.

Emotional Weekend

2008-12-21T17:24:00.004-06:00

Tears

Saturday morning the youth from my church sang Christmas carols at the Swann Special Care Center, which is a residence hall and school for the severely handicapped. I decided to tag along and lend my voice for this worthy cause. It was beautiful, we had 2 groups of carolers, each with an accompanying violinist. Since I babysit the children of a teacher at the school, I had already visited the junior high class room once and somewhat knew what I was in for.

These residents, from children all the way to adults, may or may not have even known we were there. But we sang our hearts out, wishing them all a "Merry Christmas" and treating them with the dignity that they deserve as human beings. I was ok with being there and kept my composure...until I saw a very small infant, younger than James. I held the tears in, but my heart was so sorrowful for that child. I couldn't wait to get back to my healthy, growing 9 month old so I could hold him and praise God for him.

More tears

This morning at church I couldn't help but be in awe of the generosity of my brothers and sisters in Christ. A needy family came to our church in desperation. They are homeless and have almost nothing. Not only have we come together as a church family to provide temporary housing, but today we also brought wrapped presents for this family to open on Christmas morning. I knew there would be quite a few, but was astonished to find 45 Christmas presents sitting in the church office.

Surprise!

A family of die-hard Cubs fans in our church planned a little surprise for us this morning. Pastor Scott did a sermon about what Christmas meant to various people like Ceaser Agustus and the shepherds who came to see Jesus. To better provide a visual, various church members dressed up as these characters and took their positions as Scott talked about them. He brought the sermon full circle by describing what Christmas means to the average family today--enter stage left, the "Smith Family" which just happened to be played by yours truly as well as Toby and James.

The aforementioned Cubs fans told us in order to act out our part, Toby would stand beside James and I who were seated in a rocking chair by the Christmas tree. We would need to open a present as if it were Christmas morning and pretend to be excited about it. Little did we know that the "present" was a children's book...about the Cubs! With all eyes on us, we had to keep smiling pretending to really enjoy this awful, terrible book as various people who know our loyalty to the Cardinals laughed and mouthed to the Cubs family "Did you do that to them? You are so cruel!"

I must admit that I'm a bit envious that they came up with such a great prank. It will take me awhile to come up with some kind of revenge. :-)

Who is the Child?

2008-11-30T17:53:00.011-06:00

Lo, how a rose e'er blooming from tender stem hath sprung!
Of Jesse's lineage coming as men of old have sung.
It came, a flower bright, amid the cold of winter, when half spent was the night.

Isaiah 'twas foretold it, the Rose I have in mind.
With Mary we behold it, the virgin mother kind.
To show God's love aright she bore to men a Savior, when half spent was the night.

This flow'r whose fragrance tender with sweetness fills the air,
Dispels, with glorious splendor, the darkness ev'rywhere.
True man, yet very God, from sin and death He saves us and lightens ev'ry load.

- Music: Es Ist Ein Ros’, Alte Catholische Geistliche Kirchengesäng (Köln, Germany: 1599)

Scott Boyd

2008-11-25T14:57:00.008-06:00

Abraham Piper is encouraging his blogreaders to write on their own blogs why we appreciate our pastors. So here goes my attempt.

Pastor Scott has many great qualities, but the thing I appreciate the most about him is this:

He is who he is.

Sounds a bit zany, but the fact that he is himself is a big deal to me. Many pastors aren't. They feel the need to put on their church face, pretend their lives are perfect, say all the right things, point fingers but never admit to their own sinful nature. That gets old. People like realness. (Can I hear an amen?)

In talking to a friend who is a former pastor of a non-denominational church, I discovered that Southern Baptists have a reputation for regarding their pastors as pope-like figures--people to respect out of fear and to address in a very formal way. That's not Scott. Not in any way. In fact, if you know Scott for any length of time, you will probably joke around with him a lot. And if you decide to play basketball with Scott, expect the trash-talking to commence.

There is much more to be said about this, but I will end here for the sake of brevity. What do you appreciate about your pastor?

Time Warp

2008-11-13T08:49:00.005-06:00

This morning I decided to turn on the TV while James napped. Since we don't have cable, I found the only thing on even close to being worth watching--WGN. They had an hour block of 2 shows which I am not very familiar with: "Bewitched" and "I Dream of Jeannie."

First off, the Bewitched episode made me laugh because Samantha kept referring to a man from Japan as an "oriental." I've only heard one person in my entire life use that word. It was a bit bizarre.

Secondly, I had to laugh at "I Dream of Jeannie" as Major Nelson desperately tries to hide Jeannie from his coworkers. They just KNOW something is up, because, as they insist, a man just cannot be a bachelor and "put on weight." *giggles*

These days I am a bit more 1950's housewife-ish than most of my generation, I must admit. I'm working hard to have the dishes done and dinner on the table when Toby gets home (all-the-while holding a baby on my hip). But before James was born, I got off of work an hour after my Dear Husband, so he had dinner on the table for me. What would Elizabeth Montgomery think of me? ;-)

The Challenge

2008-11-09T17:37:00.005-06:00

To you this may appear to be just a pile of junk laying around my house. But soon it will become a kitchen set for James. The inspiration? Kitchen sets are just too darn expensive, yet James loves to pull up to the kitchen set at a friend's house, bang the pots and pans, and try to eat the plastic food. All I'm lacking is another small shelf, a cafe rod and a jigsaw. Anyone out there that can help?

Food and a Printer

2008-11-06T08:16:00.002-06:00

Last night for dinner I ate a turkey burger with salsa, green peas and rice with a glass of water. Does that cancel out the McDonald's double cheeseburger and diet coke I had for lunch?

Check out simplemom's blog for the chance to win a really awesome printer.

More Exciting Things Than An Election

2008-11-05T09:45:00.004-06:00

Updates

It's been awhile since I've updated this blog. Baby James has 4 teeth and is quite mobile these days. Only 8 months old and already using his toys to balance himself as he walks laps around the living room.

Yesterday was an exciting day, not because of the election but because of all the good news we kept hearing. My sister found out she is having a boy! Yay! James can't wait to have another boy cousin. Then I got an email from my cousin Sara to say she is engaged and getting married in Cancun! Woohoo! God is good.

Bad News/Good News

I've been very very busy these days, which has led to me making some dumb choices and having to live with the consequences. Without giving out TMI, this weekend I got a case of mastitis (which is an infection) because I went a very long time without nursing James on Saturday. It was a lot like having the flu--cold chills, shivering, feeling achy from head to toe. I'm recovering, but it is taking a really hard toll on my health. Please pray for healing.

On a more positive note, I did something this morning that I've wanted to do since I was a little girl.

I wrote a book.

A children's book, to be more precise. This week I will be busy with my camera shooting some pics (because I don't draw) for the illustrations. After I copyright it, I promise to post it in some kind of format. Not sure that I will publish it for actual sales, but will personally publish it just as a way of fulfilling a dream of mine.

The Best Show You're Not Watching...

2008-10-19T20:18:00.002-05:00

...is not even a TV show. It is the Marching Illini Assembly Hall Concert. Every year the Marching Illini put on a spectacular performance for the Champaign-Urbana community, and most of you reading this have never been. This was the second year for our family to attend (last year James attended in utero) and the band didn't cease to amaze with their spectacular performance!

This is not only the best opportunity to get close up to your very own Marching Illini, but it is really great entertainment. Where else are you going to hear a saxophone section play "Bicycle Race" by Queen while the band director jumps on a bicycle and races a band member riding a tricycle? What other venue offers trumpets playing a James Bond medley, including a re-enactment of the movies by a student using a trumpet as a gun? How can you not feel awe-inspired by a drumline that is so pleasing to the ear and the eye? People wearing orange, singing "Hail to the Orange," the lights show, a marching band playing Barenaked Ladies' songs...what's not to love?

Next year: Be there, or be square.

Wordle Rocks!

2008-10-19T20:11:00.003-05:00

Luck? Try Sacrifice

2008-10-13T08:11:00.003-05:00

My sister-in-law once had an acquaintance tell her how lucky she is because she is a Stay At Home Mom. The acquaintance said this while holding a Coach diaper bag. Hmmm, is it just luck that some of us are SAHMs and unlucky that others aren't?

I believe it is just good, old-fashioned sacrifice that allows moms to be with their children, whether that means cutting down to working part-time or not working at all. How does this hit home? Just a few months before giving birth to James, I interviewed for a full-time (dream) job that was just perfect for me--it involved using my degree and working with kids in just the way I wanted to. And the best part? It almost DOUBLED our household income. The employer told me I had the job if I wanted it.

As much as the money would mean to our budget and lifestyle, and as much as I would thoroughly enjoy having a career and feeling accomplished, I realized that it isn't worth it. To take this job would mean putting my son (and potentially my future children) in daycare. I'll never get back this opportunity to nurture and teach my own child(ren) during the most formative years. When James grows up into a young man, will I be wishing I had spent less time with him?

What this means right now, though, is that we can't have cable TV. Or new clothes. Or expensive food. We won't be able to give pricey Christmas gifts, throw extravagant parties or do much traveling. In the long run, Toby may not be able to retire early and our kids may not have their college tuition paid for.

But we feel that this is a sacrifice worth making, one that will build up our childrens' character. I do work part-time these days: 20 hours a week babysitting (so James gets to come with me). Please don't feel that I think poorly of you if you work(ed) while your kids are young. But please, don't call me "lucky" to be a SAHM. It's insulting. Instead, understand that I'm having to give up some things that I don't particularly like giving up. Which, I believe, is character-building for me, too.

Being in the Word

2008-10-02T09:30:00.002-05:00

Reading the Bible has been an inconsistent struggle for me. If something isn't in my face constantly with a big flashing sign that reads "URGENT!" then it doesn't get done. I love to read, and I have many Bibles--I even keep one in James' diaper bag. So why is it so hard to remember to read every day?

Faithfully I attend to reading my blogs every day via Google Reader. Each time someone makes a new post it waits for me on my home page until I read it, which is a bit like checking it off a list. Yay for lists! Abraham Piper posted a fantastic link to subscribe to reading the Bible every day through an RSS Feed (ie Google Reader). So this morning my blog reading time included 3 chapters of Isaiah and 1 chapter of Ephesians. If this continues every day, I will make it through the Bible in one year. Technology can be harnessed for good, yes?

The 2008 Election

2008-10-01T07:25:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I babysat my neighbor's kids who are 5 and 7 years old. We had a very political conversation, mostly about the upcoming election. I asked them who they were voting for this year, and very seriously (without hesitation) the 7 year old replied "John Adams!" Soon afterward the 5 year old said "I'm voting for George Washington."

Now it's making me want to change my vote to Abraham Lincoln.

Which historical president would YOU vote for this year?

Life is Sacred

2008-09-30T08:28:00.004-05:00

There is a wonderful blog called Not to Us that I have been following the past few months. The author, Lindsay, is a friend of a friend and I give her much credit for valuing the sanctity of human life. You see, when she was 18 weeks pregnant, her water broke. She should have lost her baby, but she didn't. Her fluids shouldn't have regenerated, but they did. Yesterday, at 32 and a half weeks, her OB/GYN did an emergency C-section. Baby Burke is beautiful and miraculous and doing quite well.

Praise God for the little miracle that He brought into this world! Thank God for parents who wanted their baby so much that 13 weeks of bedrest, too many doctors' appointments to count and the struggles of having a husband in grad school and a 3 year old to take care of didn't influence them to terminate an inconvenient pregnancy.

Another reminder to me of how precious all human life is.

Dear James,

2008-09-17T13:36:00.002-05:00

You crack me up! I love everything--your chunky legs, sandy blonde hair (who knew it would change so much?), the way you pass your sippy cup from hand to hand as if that is a huge feat in and of itself, your two teeth coming in, blue/brown eyes, and the laughter that fills our home now. You have been so challenging to both Daddy and I. You used to bite Mama and never figure out how to nurse. Now you can't stop nursing, you milk-addict, you. Some would call you a colicky or fussy baby because you have cried so much the first 6 months, but Mama chooses to call you her "high needs" baby like Dr. Sears says. You've made us better parents because you have demanded more from us.

It's hard to believe you are crawling at 6.5 months. The way you stand up and take steps as Mama and Daddy hold your hands just blows my mind. Do you know that you are ahead of the curve? I know it doesn't mean that you will necessarily grow up to be a rocket scientist (although, if you do, can you teach us some cool stuff?) but it is quite a wild ride to be a part of now. Other babies your age still look and act like babies. Sometimes it makes me wish you would stay little longer than you have, but other times I'm just happy to see you become more independent.

There are moments when tears form in my eyes because you make me so happy and proud. There are times when I can't fathom life without you. You are a good and perfect gift from God, just as James 1:17 says. Inevitably, when you wake up for the fifth time at 4 am (which is an every night thing with you these days) I will beg you to go back to sleep and tell you how incredibly tired I am. This will be true, but some day I will miss those 4 am wakings. Some day there will be tears because Mama and Daddy didn't cherish every single moment, even the very rough times. But no matter what you are going through, we will always love you and want you as our son.

With love,
Mama

A Big Day for James

2008-09-16T20:23:00.005-05:00

Today my son has two teeth coming through AND started crawling forward for the first time. What a big day for him! Wow. You make me smile and laugh, Sweet Baby James.

Manipulation is unfair...but is it always wrong?

2008-09-11T09:27:00.003-05:00

The answer to this question may seem like a no-brainer to you--of course manipulation is wrong you are thinking. But first, let's examine one of the most commonly accepted definitions of manipulation.

ma·nip·u·late

1.	to manage or influence skillfully, esp. in an unfair manner: to manipulate people's feelings.

(Kudos to dictionary.com)

In order to control, influence or discipline a child, parents use manipulation. Here's an example with my own child. At 9 am, James' first naptime of the day, James did not want to go to sleep. So I held him in my arms, whispered to him that he had sleepy eyes and softly ran my finger down his forehead and nose repeatedly until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. In essence, I have brainwashed my child by developing and teaching him cues that influence him to go to sleep. (A lactation consultant I met 4 months ago taught me how to do this.)

While this manipulation is a very useful thing, is it morally right? Admittedly, by definition, it is unfair. Is it necessary? Is it good? Is is bad? What are your thoughts?

2008-09-08T11:18:00.000-05:00

Today we went to James' 6 month appointment (even though he's really 6 and a half months). It was Toby's first time meeting our pediatrician and her reaction was "Oh wow! James looks just like you!" As you can imagine, I only get that response from, oh about 99% of the people we meet.

Our little guy has turned blonde, believe it or not, and he is now a whopping 19 lbs 5 oz and 27.5 inches long. He crawls backward, but can't quite figure out how to go forward yet. This past week he pulled himself up to a standing position using the side of our furniture. He doesn't realize that he's too young to be doing that! (And, honestly, I'm not sure just exactly how he manages with all that baby fat.)

We hear a lot of "Da da" around here, but no "Mom mom" yet. *sigh* Sleep is still not high on James' list of priorities either, so Toby and I are learning to function with fewer hours of rest. Other than that, we are doing pretty well. No exciting news to share from our little, orange and blue corner of the world.

Have I mentioned that James already loves the STL Cardinals and the Fighting Illini?

With love,
Joanna

I hate to use cliches, but...

2008-09-07T17:03:00.002-05:00

...it really does take a village to raise a child. Now that I'm a mom I'm really starting to understand what that means. My new friend Amber and I have been discussing this a little bit, which has caused me to contemplate the idea even more. When I am around my neighbors and friends whose parents all live in the same towns or 15 minutes away from them, I realize that I am a bit of an outcast since my family is 4 hours away.

For example, when Toby and I get a last minute invite to see a movie we have to either A) say no or B) one of us go see it while the other stays home (which is totally not fun). Most of my friends just call their parents and say "Hey we're going to a movie tonight, are you around to watch my kid(s)?" Or another example is when James is screaming hysterically, my Mom can't just pop over to my house and teach me the right way to comfort him.

While relying on each other and learning to rely on our friends and neighbors can be a very good thing, there is something about having family come up beside you and help you raise your children that is both comforting and important. Perhaps this is why we rely so heavily upon our brothers and sisters in Christ. What a blessing to have surrogate grandparents and parents who check on us every week to make sure we are ok. How amazing it is to have sisters in our church who are walking the same path, trying to raise their children without extended family so that we must stick together and encourage one another.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. If you are one of these people that I mentioned who are part of that village helping us raise our child, I admonish you for your faithfulness and kindness. You're indispensable!

Obama, McCain, Applesauce

2008-09-04T20:11:00.003-05:00

Our Sweet Baby James thinks the 2008 election is hysterical.

Toby says "BUH-ROCK O'BAH-MUH" and James laughs.

Toby says "JOHN MUH-CAIN" and James laughs.

Toby says "AH-PUHL SAUCE" and James cries.

So there you have it folks, vote for Obama or McCain--but not applesauce.

I'm glad no one follows me around with a camera all day

2008-09-03T15:15:00.003-05:00

Let's face it--I say some really silly, incorrect things on a daily basis. An uncle of mine will never let me live down the time I told him that an event was happening on the 32nd of the month. (In my defense, I started to say 30th, then tried to switch to the 22nd, and it came out as the 32nd.) I frequently state facts and later realize they were incorrect or exaggerated. Wouldn't it just be so handy to rewind and edit our daily lives, much like we backspace and delete the parts of blog posts that weren't what we meant to say?

To get to the point, I am not voting for Senator Barack Obama in the 2008 presidential election because I don't agree with his policies. Or, rather, I agree with his policies even less than I agree with McCain's. (According to VoteMatch, McCain and I agree 43% of the time and Obama and I agree a mere 3% of the time.) Obama is a very smart, well spoken man and it is ridiculous to attack him based on moments in time where he has mispoken or stuttered. Good grief people! Let's talk about the direction our country is headed and how we should go about getting there. Let's talk about character and morals, finances and reform, sanctity of life and the things that matter to us. Please base your voting decision on these things and how you feel about them, not based on empty rhetoric or ability to speak smoothly and perfectly 24/7.

*Note: My DH has gotten me thoroughly interested in politics these days. Hopefully I have not bored all of you by my talks of politicians, policies and ideas. Expect them to continue, because this is all very relevant to our country, culture and lives. Cheers!

Tell People When They Do a Good Job!

2008-08-22T16:12:00.004-05:00

A very respected person in my life once discouraged me from telling a peer "thank you for doing your job well" on the basis that you shouldn't praise people for doing something they are supposed to do anyway. I wholeheartedly disagree. In fact, today I am recognizing just a few of the many people around me who are doing their jobs well, and even going above and beyond.

On a recent shopping trip, we were THRILLED to discover that Best Buy in Champaign is now providing a parking space up front for families with infants. Thanks Best Buy! You will receive our business, even if you do cost more than Circuit City.

My sister in Christ, Michelle, does it all. She holds me accountable, cracks me up, motivates me to exercise and even babysits my son so I can get a couple hours of me time each week. What an awesome friend and big sister! (Just don't sing Friends are Friends Forever again or I'll barf.)

The neighborhood that we are apart of is one that even Mr. Rodgers would envy. It thrills me to take a walk with my husband and see neighbors who turn around to walk with us and chat. Or to step across the street to join a 7 year old and 4 year old in a game of baseball while the "men-folk" play catch and talk about work. And to know that our retired neighbors are sitting on their porches watching out for all of us (and watching out for our houses!) even when we are too busy to notice.

Perhaps the most important person to recognize (although there are numerous others who aren't being mentioned but are thought of daily) is my awesome husband, Toby. Some days he brings the bacon home, fries it up in a skillet, serves it on a platter and still manages to shower his affection upon his wife and baby. Recovering from giving birth and raising a high needs baby has been such a struggle for me, but Toby has been amazing through it all.

Who has done their job well in your life lately? Don't forget to tell them "thank you" for doing what they are supposed to be doing!

Wanna pay half price at Target?

2008-08-12T14:48:00.003-05:00

Today at Target I bought:

8 Rolls of Bounty
12 Big Rolls of Charmin
8 boxes of Puffs tissues
2 100-count Ziploc bags
Suave Shampoo
Suave Conditioner
3 2-packs of Gerber Baby Food
2 Twin Sheet Sets ($7.50 for flat sheet, fitted sheet & pillow case)
All Free & Clear Laundry Detergent
Electrasol Dishwashing Detergent
Glade Plug-in w/ refill (Only $0.14 after $4 coupon.)
Skintimate Shave Gel
2 Crest Toothpastes

Value of Merchandise: $80.06
Out of Pocket Expense: $43.45
Savings: $36.61

Wanna learn how I did this? Visit my other blog: Raising Baby on a Shoestring Budget

Alcohol Virgin

2008-08-08T10:46:00.007-05:00

Call me what you will--naive, a prude, weird, up-tight, goody two shoes, an alcohol virgin. But I don't drink. Why? Well, the answer isn't a simple one.

I'm not a legalist. I understand that you can actually drink in moderation as long as it doesn't cause others to stumble in their walk with Christ. There are Christians all around me who prove that to me by how they live and how they use alcohol. I don't have any family history of alcoholism so there is no need for genetic concern. But I still don't do it. Which causes me to reflect on the reasons behind it.

Maybe the decision is really influenced by two things: A) I was raised in a Southern Baptist Church (and am still active in the denomination) where abstinence is insisted upon by some church covenants. I acknowledge that it has influenced me. B) The household I grew up in doesn't drink, so there is no cultural pressure to do so. (We celebrate special occasions by abusing sugar, not alcohol. Who needs nasty old beer when cake is so delicious? *LOL*)

My experiences with alcohol are so few that I can list them for you.

In high school I had surgery on my right hand. The anesthesiologist put the equivalent of two beers' worth of alcohol in my IV. I must've passed out--I don't remember the surgery.
I took some Nyquil in college. That stuff will make you sleep when your nose is stopped up & you feel miserable.
When I was newly married and learning how to cook, I found a recipe for chicken that included wine. On my way to the store to buy the ingredients I realized that I would get carded and I was only 2o years old! My dearest husband bought it for me when he got home from work.
Last week I purchased cheap white wine ($5 bottle) for a pork chops recipe I found online. Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to drink some. It was about the equivalent of drinking Listerine. For those of you who have ever tried cheap wine, you are probably laughing hysterically! For those of you who haven't--take my advice and don't.

All in all, there are some very legitimate (and illegitimate) reasons for abstaining from alcohol. I don't demand abstinence from others (as that would be biblically wrong), nor have I taken a vow of abstinency. Yet, I don't forsee my husband or myself drinking alcohol in the near future. Especially the nasty cheap wine in our refrigerator. Yuck!

Pic: Setting the table for our special anniversary dinner. Things are sure different this year. :-)

National Moochers' Vacation 2008

2008-08-08T08:13:00.005-05:00

Toby and I wanted to take a vacation at the end of this month. The plan was to go do fun stuff @ local cities that we've never really explored, like Chicago, Indianapolis, Nashville. But, alas, our budget is under a crunch--mostly due to the fact that we are no longer DINKs.

We would still like to take a vacation but don't have the money for hotels or expensive activities.

Don't be surprised if we beg you for a place to stay soon!

Any thoughts/ideas on places we could go, things we could do?

Bed bugs, dust mites and worse. EWWW!

2008-07-30T11:08:00.005-05:00

For those of you who don't already know, sometimes I get a little germophobic. I admit it is nonsensical, but there are just some things I have issues with. For example, I can sleep on a hotel bed. I can spend the night at someone's house. But, I cannot bring myself to buy a used mattress. It grosses me out. Here's a few fast facts for you, to feed my own fears.

Mattress: Buy a new one after 10 years because mattresses are impossible to clean. A 10-year-old mattress can have 10 million dust mites. An old mattress actually feels heavier because it is full of dust mites and their droppings.

Pillow: Throw it out after three years, but wash or dry clean twice a year. In the average used pillow, a British study found 1 million fungus spores, including species normally found in bread mold and shower walls.

Why so much thought on this topic? We just bought this beautiful trundle bed for our guests and future children:

We are in need of some mattresses, but don't have much money with which to buy them. Many people offer them for cheap or free on Craigslist, but I just can't do it.

What is one of your eccentricities?

Getting Fit

2008-07-28T09:08:00.004-05:00

My son turned 5 months old yesterday and I am 3 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Yahoo!!

My mother reached her pre-pregnancy weight just 6 weeks after giving birth (without exercising, might I add). So imagine my disappointment when I had an extra 12 lbs when James was 6 weeks old. On the opposite end of the scale, one of the moms in the mom and infant group I belong to was so psyched to just put on a pair of pre-preg jeans & zip them up when her child was 10 months old. Everyone in the group acted like this was an extraordinary accomplishment.

So here I am, excited that I've lost 9 lbs in 3.5 months. Sounds a little crazy maybe, but for a breastfeeding mom it is both difficult and dangerous to lose weight quickly. My friend Michelle has been a great help, as she is my Holy Yoga partner. My husband is indespinsable because he is my walking partner. Thanks to a challenge from Chase, today I started my 6 week journey to being able to do one hundred consecutive pushups. Who knows how buff I'll be 6 weeks from now.

Enter this contest!

2008-07-22T19:02:00.000-05:00

http://babycheapskate.blogspot.com/2008/07/giveaway-12-bumgenius-30-diapers.html

At the Cross

2008-07-21T12:19:00.008-05:00

Was it for crimes that I had done
He groaned upon the tree?
Amazing pity! grace unknown!
And love beyond degree!

Thus might I hide my blushing face
While His dear cross appears,
Dissolve my heart in thankfulness,
And melt my eyes to tears.

My husband bought me a piano for our anniversary! Isn't he wonderful?

Without Love, My Faith Means Nothing

2008-07-19T07:30:00.003-05:00

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing."

The scripture continues on to explain what love is and isn't, and then ends with verse 13 "So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Throughout my relationship with Jesus, I've been on a quest to understand this and live it out. What is love? How do I love God? How do I love my brothers and sisters in Christ? How do I love total strangers? What the world says is love is usually either purely emotion, mere lust or some self-serving connection to someone.

Father God, I pray that you will continue to teach me what love is, and that I will be obedient to seek it out and live it out in my daily life. AMEN.

Hesitations in Serving Christ?

2008-07-16T14:52:00.003-05:00

Today I specifically prayed for a divine appointment from God: that I would be given the opportunity to share Jesus with a specific person. Within an hour, this person began to ask me questions about God. My impulse was to bypass the conversation.

Why?

Romans 7:19 says, "For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing."

*I did end up sharing the gospel with this person. But I'm still distraught about my sinfulness. And so greatful for "abundant mercy [which] blot[s] out my transgressions" (Psalms 51:1).

I spotted the easter egg in Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom

2008-07-05T21:48:00.005-05:00

So, I never actually watched the Indiana Jones movies before I got to college. And then I only watched the first and third movies to appease my dearest hubby, who insisted I must see them. Tonight, for the first time, I viewed Temple of Doom (the worst of the trilogy...wait make that a quartet now?)

I caught an easter egg that Toby has never caught before!! I want to go party at Club Obi Wan w/ Indy, as long as that whiny blonde chick isn't around. Do you think Yoda might be there?

Understanding My Son's Needs

2008-07-03T12:02:00.003-05:00

I knew from my 15th week of pregnancy that James was a mover & a shaker. But I had never heard the term "high need child" so I certainly didn't expect to have one. James is 4 months old now. He still cries to be held constantly, nurses 10 to 15 times in any given 24 hour period, and is sometimes completely inconsolable.

Many people (with good intentions) have given me advice on how to deal with these 'problems'. "Put him down and let him cry," they tell me. "He's getting spoiled." "Don't feed him so much--make him wait longer." What these advice givers do not understand is that they are, subtly, telling me that I'm not doing the right things, that James would be different if I just (fill-in-the-blank).

After letting my son scream for an hour straight, depriving him of food when he needed to eat and feeling like a complete failure as a parent, I've discovered info & research by Dr. Sears that shows how this style of 'parenting' is completely wrong, especially for my high need kid.

Here are some of the many attributes of James (and other high need babies):

1. In demand of constant attention
High need children want and need attention, and they will not be ignored. This is not a child you can leave in the crib to fuss for a few moments to see if he/she might go back to sleep he/she wants attention. If the child wants you to hold him/her, he/she won’t be put off by books, toys, or someone else’s attention. You will find that this child has no compunctions against letting these demands be known, for he/she will let you know quite loudly.

2. In need of physical contact very often
High need children, especially as babies, need a lot of physical contact. This may manifest as fussing when they are put down, needing to eat often and long, refusing to go to sleep, or any combination of the three. High need children will often sleep better in bed with their parents so that they can maintain contact all night long.

3. Unpredictable
High need children constantly surprise you with new things that seem to be designed to drive you mad. What comforted them yesterday may not work today. Their sleep patterns may vary drastically from week to week. It’s sort of like a daily poker game: you never know what you’re going to draw from one day to the next.

4. Constantly feeding, especially nursing
High need children don’t generally fit into the 2 1/2 to 3 hour feeding routine into which most babies fall. Most want to be latched on seemingly forever. Some of this relates to their need for close physical contact; nursing fills that need quite nicely. They may also have a need for sucking (which is a normal baby need) beyond what they get from eating. If they don’t like pacifiers, they may turn you into a human pacifier, employing “comfort sucking” rather than real eating.

When I read these things (plus how to listen to my instinct to care for James) I began to weep aloud. FINALLY, someone understands. Someone out there knows what it is like to cry along with your child, to feel crazy because what works one day doesn't work the next. To affirm to me that I'm a good mother because I love & nurture my son, and not harrass me about putting James on a rigid schedule.

Some people may think, "My child wasn't/isn't like the behavior you're describing because I (fill-in-the-blank)." I disagree with that thinking, especially on a theological level. Didn't God form me from my mother's womb? Was I a blank slate that became the way I am solely due to environment? Of course not--I was predestined to be who I am. And so was James.

Disagree with me if you will, but I plan to continue 'spoiling' James w/ affection until he's so 'spoiled' that he believes his Mommy will always be there for him, loving him endlessly.

Remebering

2008-06-09T13:04:00.002-05:00

My 24th birthday occurred on 06.07.08. On this day a great man also passed away. His name was Mont Davis, Jr., but I called him Pa. He was my great uncle, but he was very much like a grandfather to me after the death of my own grandparents when I was very young. There are many memories of times we spent together, summers that I practically lived with him and "MaMa," trips to McDonald's when I was 4, and all the books he bought me from Barnes and Noble when I was a preteen who adored reading.

He was a very well educated man who loved to share his knowledge with others. He worked in education for many years and served as the superintendent of the schools that he loved so much. The stories he told and the history he shared with me are invaluable. I miss him already and count myself so fortunate to have a picture taken just a month ago of Pa, MaMa and James in my scrapbook.

10 Ways My Life Would Be Different If I Didn't Have a Baby*

2008-05-20T16:31:00.004-05:00

1. I wouldn't have spit up on my black shirt right now.
2. Instead of blogging, I would be doing something productive right now, like working.
3. I wouldn't have a snuggle buddy in my arms today.
4. I wouldn't have to wash my comforter because it is drenched in baby pee.
5. My day wouldn't revolve around someone's eating and pooping schedule.
6. I would get to shower every day.
7. Much fewer people would smile at me when I'm at the grocery store.
8. My house wouldn't have nearly as much STUFF to clutter it up.
9. I couldn't look at a miniature version of my husband anytime I wanted to.
10. My heart wouldn't melt every few hours because of a precious laugh and beautiful smile. :-)

*This post is inspired by my friend Amanda.

May 4, 5 & 6

2008-05-07T18:41:00.004-05:00

Carmen sent me more photos. She, Anthony & James are having a ball in Montana! They made it to Jacob & Helen's house. Along the way they stopped & played. After they got to Montana, they spent lots of time with Titi Helen & Anthony met Uncle Jake for the first time ever. They also went to a museum to learn more about Lewis & Clark. I think they are discovering why Montana is called "Big Sky Country."

May 2 & 3

2008-05-03T16:47:00.006-05:00

Carmen sent me some photos and let me know how the kids were doing on their trip to Montana. They began their trip in Illinois (of course), then drove through Missouri, Iowa, then South Dakota. On Friday, they made it all the way to Wall, South Dakota where they were stuck due to all the SNOW! The interstate was closed and all the hotels were full, so they were forced to go to the town community center to sleep on cots. Praise God, the interstate opened in a few hours, so they made it to their original destination of Rapid City, South Dakota to stay at a Best Western with an indoor waterpark. They are having a BLAST!!! Here's some pics of their journey thus far.

Trip to Montana

2008-05-01T20:45:00.002-05:00

As many of you know, Toby, James & I had planned on taking a trip to Montana with Jeff, Jasmine & the kids. However, we decided last minute to cancel, but send the kids anyway. Carmen (age 3) is in charge of Anthony (almost 1 year) and James (2 months). I'm sure they'll be fine, they can hitchhike. Carmen promised to send us pictures every day, so I'll post them on this blog. Check back often!

James is 2 months old!

2008-04-30T14:38:00.003-05:00

Hard to believe this, but my baby is 2 months old! Today we went to the doctor to get his shots and make sure he was doing well. James is 13 lbs 2 oz, and measures 23 inches long. The pediatrician wanted to know if he can hold his head up and if he gets tummy time--she laid him belly down on the table and he pushed himself upward so that his chest was completely off the table and he looked around the room. She was surprised, but I wasn't! He's already rolling over, trying to laugh, and is very alert when he's awake. What a kid!

New Meaning to Christ's Sacrifice

2008-04-28T10:17:00.002-05:00

"...In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe..."

- "In Christ Alone" Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

The baby shampoo company, Johnson & Johnson, is right--having a baby changes everything. Your whole life is turned upside down the minute your bundle of joy is placed in your arms, never to return to the way it used to be. I can (and will in the near future) ramble on and on about the things that are new and challenging daily, but for now I'd rather share with you some of the beautiful things God is revealing to me through my son.

1) We are good and perfect gifts...because God created us. Life is sacred, and James has made me appreciate that so much.

2) Jesus became flesh. Wow. I can't comprehend the fullness of God, but now I've seen and know the helplessness of a babe. It brings me to tears every time we sing "In Christ Alone."

3) God gave us His only Son. This truth has hit closer to home than ever before. What an incredible, beautiful sacrifice.

Going Green & No TV

2008-04-22T15:10:00.003-05:00

Happy Earth Day! To celebrate the day, James and I attended a Babies Go Green Party today. Yes, I did take him in his cloth diapers. No, we did not hug trees...but we did water them. (Babies love water, trees love water. It's all good.)

We are also celebrating National TV Turnoff Week -- that's right, no television in this household this week. I do admit to some cheating, because I have still spent some time at my laptop this week (like right now!) so I am getting screen time and entertainment in a slightly different form. And I do plan on watching American Idol highlights, an episode of The Office and the new episode of Lost after they are all posted online. Which is STILL LIKE TV, I KNOW...but my TV set will not be turned on this week. Period. Why? There are several reasons:

1) Now that I'm a SAHM I have tried to replace human interaction with TV. Not good!
2) The commercialism that TV promotes has begun to affect me.
3) My (almost) 2 month old son doesn't need TV time. He's already absorbing things and learning from my habits.
4) TV takes up too much time that could be used for other things.

Tears, Determination and Frustrating Weeks

2008-04-09T19:16:00.001-05:00

My mom did it. My sister did it. My sister-in-law did it too. Why couldn't I? I knew it might not be easy...but who knew that it would require (literal) blood, sweat and tears?

On a chilly February morning I gave birth to a biter. And not just any biter--a narrow latching, disorganized sucking, give-me-a-bottle-or-I'll-make-your-nipples-angry biter. We tried every thing possible, nipple shields, breast shells, cup feeding, different holds. I nursed standing up, sitting down, laying down, in the dark, in the bathtub, upside down in a Barca lounger...ok maybe I'm exaggerating on the last one. After lots of trial and error my nipples were cracked and bleeding, but I just couldn't give up. I wanted so desperately to breastfeed my baby. My guardian angel (aka my lactation consultant) was magnificent, but for some reason she wouldn't move into my house with me and my husband and Old Iron Jaws, er, my baby. So I began to scour the web for anything to keep me going.

I found websites that told me the 4 ounces of formula I was supplementing with each day were going to make him mentally retarded or, at the very least, ill. To the other extreme, some made it seem as if there was no reason to keep pumping 24/7 and offering my breast to my child when formula and bottles are so readily available. But then I came across kellymom -- ah, be still my bleeding nipples! When my son screamed and refused his mommy, I read Help! My Baby Won't Nurse through tears streaming down my face. Then I found even more great online resources. While baby boy insisted on drinking from a bottle only, I turned to Dr. Sears for advice. He encouraged me to practice babywearing to bond with my little piranha. And through all of the trials and tribulations, I had to keep on pumping, sometimes exclusively.

Perhaps the online source that made the biggest impact on me and kept me going is My Baby Just Doesn't Get It by an IBCLC named Diane Wiessinger. It is a page that tells of many women and babies who had trouble nursing but succeeded in the end. These stories gave me hope that successful breastfeeding would happen, even if it took more time and determination than I had ever realized. I read these stories over and over, especially during the moments when I wanted to give up. The webpage says this:

The things these babies' mothers had in common were tears, determination, plenty of skin contact with their babies, and help from a knowledgeable breastfeeding specialist. Each pair followed a different path to breastfeeding. Some babies caught on quickly, some needed long and frustrating weeks. But all these babies went on to enjoy breastfeeding...

And all their mothers say it was worth the wait.

It has taken us 6 weeks and breastfeeding still isn't perfect. Sometimes my child still struggles to latch on, but those times are becoming fewer and farther between. Sometimes I still pull out the old lanolin cream and ibuprofen, and begin to think about everything that baby and I have gone through over the past month and a half. I must say that the mothers are right--it was worth the wait.

Check out my Slide Show of the first month of James!

2008-03-28T11:53:00.001-05:00

My New Blog Home

2008-03-28T11:44:00.000-05:00

Hola. Welcome to my new home!

Alas, I have given up my Xanga blog, to join the blogspot community. It's all good though...Now that I am in a new phase of life I have decided to start rambling publicly through a blog. This is not much different than what I used to do on Xanga, except now I will be rambling more about my beautiful child than my activities and interests.

Have I mentioned that James is probably the best baby in the entire world? ;-)